To tired to think of a title

Addison is feeling better. She didn't ask for tylenol at all today. She did have an episode where she asked for a towel but she didn't throw up. So she has made it a full week without vomiting. If we could just get her to sleep better. The first thing she said this morning was "Where is my IV?" She checked both hands and then removed the blanket and checked both feet. She then said "They cut my belly." But she didn't mention the NG tube at all. I hope things start to get better for her. I just can't imagine what other children with more severe medical problems go through. My heart breaks for them and their families. Sometimes I am very angry Tre' and I will never know "normal" parenting. We don't know what it is like to put Addison to sleep in her room and just walk out or even to sleep through the night. I get jealous when I see other families going on vacations and trips and we are worried about paying for medications and doctor and hospital bills. I know we are very blessed to be parents in the first place and I shouldn't get jealous. I also know we have it easy compared to some other parents. But sometimes I can't help but wonder will things ever get better. I just worry myself sick about her having surgery again. I know there is nothing I can do to prevent it but if it is this hard on her now I can't imagine when she is a little older. I think about her getting picked on about her scars and her feet. Her going to parties and not being able to eat certain foods because of the reflux and having to explain herself. I know she will be a very special person because of everything she has been through. She will most definetly be knid hearted and not judgemental. She has made me a better person and I have a whole new outlook on life. I would love to give her a sibling, she asks all the time for one. To actually experence a normal pregnancy and delivery. But we are to scared this will happen to us again and neither of us are strong enough for that. Not to mention the guilt we would have putting another baby through it. My OB says it is a very slim chance it would happen again. The only reason she was born premature was because of her stomach birth defects. No one in either of our families have ever had unhealthy babies but we can't trust that because it still happened to us. Maybe it happened to us because it is God's purpose for me to share her story and make other people aware.