Nightmares

It seems as if Addison is having nightmares. She has always woke up 2-3 times during the night and wants something to drink and goes back to sleep. But now she is waking up 3-4 times and is crying. She doesn't even sleep through her naps. She slept 1 hour and 20 minutes yesterday for her nap and woke up twice during that short time. When she woke up for good, she cried for 1 hour and a 1/2. I could not get her to calm down. It was like she was reliving her hospital stay. She was asking what happened to her IV, saying things like they cut my belly, and asking about the tube in her nose. I just kept telling her it was over and she was better now and we are home not in the hospital but everything I tried seemed to aggervate her worse. I tried getting her to play a game with me, she cried harder when she couldn't decide which game she wanted to play. Same thing when I tried to read her a book, she couldn't decide which book she wanted. Tonight she has already woke up 3 times in 4 hours. Her nose starts running from crying and then she is upset about that. I wipe her nose and she wants medicine on it. I put some Aquaphor on it and then she is screaming for a bandaid. I just can't get her comfortable. I am exhausted. I have to work at night and by the time I get her to sleep (she just wants mommy because she likes to play with my hair) and get to work she is waking up. I wanted to go to Jazzercise yesterday but she was so upset from her nap I couldn't go. I planned to get up at 4:30 am and go this morning and now it is 2 am and I am still working so it doesn't look like I will be getting to go. She consumes every minute of my life. Me and Tre' did get to go to dinner for the first time in 7 months tonight without her. It was nice to get away for a few hours but how can we really enjoy ourselves when we are constantly worrying. We don't know if she is in pain or just having anxiety. She is probably still sore from surgery but I don't want to keep giving her the Tylenol with Codiene so I have just been giving her regular Tylenol twice a day. The codiene can make her have nausea. We don't know if she is in pain from surgery or reflux. She starts gagging when she is crying hard and I know that has to hurt her belly too. I can't wait until she is older and able to communicate better with us. Don't get me wrong, she is quite the talker but it is like she is scared to tell us what is hurting because she doesn't know what we will do to her. I hope and pray she starts getting some sleep and forgets about what has happened these last few weeks. I don't know how she will forget because she keeps bringing things up several times a day but hopefully she will be reminded less and less in the next couple of weeks.
 I am placing an order with Southern Belle for some T-shirts to raise money for her medical bills. The shirts will be purple for the national color of prematurity awareness and will say "Real Southern Belles know Blessings come in small packages." They are available in short sleeve sizes youth XS- adult XXXL and in long sleeves youth sizes XS- adult XXL. Short sleeves are $20 and long sleeves are $22. Please let me know if you would like to order a shirt. My email address is southerngal05@cableone.net. We also have a raffle planned for mid April. If you would like to donate something or purchase some tickets please email me. We have a yard sale planned for March too. An old classmate of mine has a son with Luekemia and we will be splitting the yard sale proceeds with her. My mom and some of her classmates from Biloxi High School are also planning a dance and a band has even already offered to play for us. It amazes me the people I have never met that are reaching out to help us and yet some family members have not even called or wrote to offer help or check on Addison. You really find out who your true friends are in circumstances like these. It kind of makes me dislike people. I know that is horrible to say. I guess I just feel like I would bend over backwards for anyone in my family or any of my friends and to see the feeling is not mutual is very upsetting. Maybe because I have been through so much I would be more supportive to others but I can't imagine turning my back on a 2 year old that has been through more in her life than most people will go through in their entire lives. I pray God heals my broken heart and those people never experience an ounce of what me and Tre' have felt. As always thank you for your support and continuous prayers.